Brother and sister

I lived as an only child from an only child and have an only child. And the question "Do you know Janine Ameloot?" My reply was: yes she was my mother. Then followed a longer very thoughtful e-mail. And it became evident pretty soon that my brother Tommy had found me. I didn't know about him. My mother never told me, but after Tommy had contacted me,  by a weird set of circumstances my stepfather decided to tell me there was an other child from my mother. So Tommy's existence had been confirmed. Now a few weeks later we are planning to meet in Chloride for just a few days. His two daughters will accompany him. Of course after having been away from Chloride the yard is overgrown, doors and windows have to be repainted ( every year :-; ). Then followed an invitation for thanks giving, an occasion more important in the USA than Christmas or Halloween. The name says it: it is about giving thanks. It started out as a giving thanks for a good harvest. In Germany that is "Ernte Dank Fest". And yes it is fitting that we, brother and sister, meet in this time of the year. We have e-mailed, spoken over the phone and I am invited to spend the Holiday with Tommy and Jo Ann's extended family. I know, as a former only child, that it is easy to be overwhelmed by suddenly being part of a tribe, and being related by blood or marriage to all of them. So yes I'll travel to Cincinnati and back to Las Vegas, which is the nearest airport and from which I will fly out back to Brussels and then on by bus to Antwerp. All this with Doggy Dog in tow.

What adventures we will have.

Family matters - Familymatters

The first time I met my father and my brother was after a year of interpreting for the meetings of ESSO, having saved each payment for the trip. We had flown in to Washington and the trip to Dayton was silent and long, driving through cornfields mile after mile to get to Dayton. It could have been a wild goose chase not having found a phone number from Belgium for my father. After we settled down in the local Holiday Inn I picked up the phone book. There were a bunch of Sauers... I knew my father was John A. or R. Sauer and found the number. So I called and a young male voice answers the phone. I said: My name is Annmarie Sauer, I am looking for a relative of mine. He, Mark said I pass you my father. A nice voice comes on the phone. I repeat what I just told Mark and the male voice at the other end answers: Yes, you are my daughter. I hadn't thought further than that. So I said I would like to meet you. So he gives me instruction to come to his work, He was a blue collar worker in a print factory. Jim and I and Maya showed up and had a nice meeting. He apologized for my English (which must have sounded too European or British) saying: She lost her accent... The young man, Mark had come too, and I thought: Oh, my little brother is Gay. I cherish that meeting. Years later when I was in Chloride, he called me and came out to me. So sweet... . We corresponded a while but now it is time to be closer again, seen there is another brother... I guess one way or the other we should all meet. Because no longer am I an only child, who has an only child... Although seen I didn't know anything about the child Tom, also my brother, I felt like an only child. So I am the oldest of the three of us.

Night at the opera- Elektra

A friend received from Klara, the classic radio station in Belgium, two VIP seats for Elektra, an opera by Richard Strauss, so I ended up in this bunch of opera going people, starting out with a glass of champaign and a divine chocolate mouse. I like to watch the filing in of people, to listen to the civilized hum of voices. The text, or libretto is based on a theatre text by Hofmannsthal. This seasons theme is 'Onmacht': Powerlessness... Max Reinhardt is the director of this chilling performance. The story: Klytämnestra, Elektra's mother  together with her lover Aighistos killed her husband Agamemnon. Elektra is out for revenge, she becomes crazy, delusional, bitter, scheming and is taunting her mother. Chrysothemis is the other daughter who wants love and to have babies. She wants to escape the logic of revenge choosing for life. Orestes, the brother, is thought dead but he is alive and quite willing to perform the avenging act for Elektra, who by the way had dug up the ax used to kill her father so that in a kind of poetic justice his two murderers are killed by the same weapon. (I always loved Greek mythology, yet the murders, the incest among gods and royal families would sometimes be too much... ) Back to music and art: The role of Elektra is quiet a load, the grandiose Gertrud Eysoldt is always present on the stage. It is a heavy role in this one hour and forty-seven minutes opera. The role of the younger sister Chrysothemis was in excellent hands, a real nice performance, Orestes too was great. All the character parts were excellent as was the choir.

Yet most destabilizing was the decor by Patrick Bannwart and Maria Wolgast. The queen had been offering every day animals to the gods to give her peace and the scene where these animals fall into and on the stage is gruesome. When the blood flows over the walls it is disconcerting. What to me was the message of this opera is that by shedding blood, only more blood is shed in the end. Rache, paying back, avenging, wraak, an eye for an eye... it doesn't work. Stop violence... Make love, not war...

Omheind - Fenced

Yesterday in Het Letterenhuis Omheind / Fenced, the second novel by Hilde Keteleer, published by the young publishing house 'Vrijdag', was presented. Leen van Dijck welcomed the substantial crowd and spoke, explained a bit about the task of Het letterenhuis and  spoke warmly about the new book of Hilde. Jos Gijsels spoke eloquently about her book. It was obvious they have known each other for a long time and he pointed out the importance of her book. The the desert came to us with the haunting music by AISHAM, a Palestinian-Syrian ensemble. Their music lets you feel the sand run between your fingers... and then Hilde read pieces by each of the four voices of her novel. The novel introduces us to a hybrid, checkered family with hankering for  the love of the mother and unknown fathers. Hilde is an accomplished writer and does good research so in reading the novel you glean a lot of information. She does, what I couldn't do weave reality into fiction, incorporate it as the spine of the story. Her description of what a desert can do with a person did hit home for me and the difficulties of  not so simple love between different cultures. She sparingly incorporates a few Arabic words underscoring the fact that you are 'elsewhere' in her interesting, mature novel.

Syrian dancers

Years ago my kids went on a long trip which also brought them to Syria. Their means of transport were two recumbent bicycles. Then, having a knee problem, my daughter stayed on in Aleppo on her own, totally safe and when the time had come, she went by buss with her stuff to Damascus and they all were reunited again. Once in Damascus they interviewed a few people. People, with whom they stayed in touch. The young people interviewed were hip hop dancers, moon walkers, dance instructors and such, also human rights advocates. Nidal made it to Belgium, a great dancer. Jihad is a master chocolate maker trained in Dubai, now learning to make Belgian chocolate. Naser who ran the dancing school, had reached his sister in Austria and worrying about their mother returned to Damascus to go and get his mother. A young man who never touched a gun in this conflict, has family values and was cherished by those who knew him. The sad story is that he got killed in Damascus. We don't know what happened to his mother... This war isn't far away. If you visited the country, seen the antique places, talked to people, made friends then it feels as if that war is on our doorsteps... The horror, the horror of war we can't imagine. Feel it in the loss of this young man.