The passing away of fathers

How honest can I be in a public piece of writing? My stepfather and I did not have a good relationship. That is the kindest I can be about it. And then say no more. The void is good for me. It becomes a place I can use for healing. So next Sunday I'll walk with a friend while talking. She has had similar bad experiences but then found other means to deal with it all. I am sure a long walk/talk will be good for myself and hopefully also for her.
I have recently seen in a friend what the sorrow for the loss of a real father really is. I knew the man and I liked him a lot. I have also seen how strong the mother tries to be. A long marriage, a close friendship, a real pair with enough space for both of them. Quite a way to be.

The end of mourning

In many cultures there seems to be a period of allowed mourning after a person passes away: It is about six weeks, or some forty some odd days. So yesterday, in the tiny family unit we are, we took down all the condolences cards, put them away in a nice box and just have her smiling picture there for her husband to enjoy. That smile brings him good memories.
My memories are still with her dementia.

my mother

speaks no

more

only remains  

the seemingly  

smallness

of her smile

the leaning over on the chair

mouth wide open

for a bite

she carefully

shoves in

her teeth

just don’t  want to go in

but a person

has to eat

painful of awkward

that head

which can no

more

till suddenly

my daughter

passes her something

and she

“thank you”

says –

 I send thanks for all she gave...